An Apple And The Pasture

Wednesday, October 31, 2007
[[ch@ng3s]]

A bubble lifespan is fleetingly short. Often lasting no longer than 5 seconds.
I ought to be thankful that my happiness bubble just degraded naturally.

Subtle changes.
Yet I'd be blind if I have not seen them.
Just like this recent change of blog song.

Strange thing about instrumental songs yeah ?
It's what the composer hoped to relate, to translate.
Yet the comprehension of the song can have 101 meanings.

This song had been playing in my head for the past few days.
Loads of intrepretation for it.
Negative or positive.
It just depend on the state of mind.

媽：你要吃壞肚子才來哭是嗎？
弟：很好吃不就吃嘍。
媽：不是因為好吃就可以不停的吃。

My brother being piggish.

It's human nature isn't ?
Knowing full well that some things are bad for you.
Wait.
No, we don't know.
We have not tried, it's when you try then you know how bad isn't it ?

Apparently not.
It's not as if it did not happen before.
It's not as if I have not tried to control it before.
That BBQ, that kicking of can.
And even that forgiveness even though the person did not comprehend the so called mistake.

It brought me back to the past.
I thought I'd learnt.
Apparently not.

One thing I learnt about myself today.
Emotions are fickle friends. Never a good judgement. It's thoughts and reasons that set you who you are. Emotions merely play with them

People call this encryption.
I call this informationally inefficient.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007
[[bubble]]

I am in my happy bubble today! (Today is not over yet, that's why "am" =P )
Combination of reasons I supposed:
- End of marketing stress
- "Confrontation" with Si Min *Si Min pouts* ahahaha
- Truly wonderful ISIS
- Courage to take that move

Most importantly Goong S song rocked!
Now my ipoddie is all out of battery cos of it.

Watched David Copperfield's show just now.
Believe
Convince
Take action
All will end well
Trust me.

Monday, October 29, 2007
[[B&B]]

If there was a day called "AQ Day"
Then today was the day.
Just finished marketing presentation in a fashion.

Heart Attack #1: John was unable to come for the presentation. Ie. I have to do not only 18 slides in front, but also 17 slides behind.
That totally thrown me off, moodless for lab, I stoned with the presentation slides.

Heart Attack #2: John came for the presentation!!!! *relieved* but... he did not prepare the 4Ps, just 2 of them.

Heart Attack #3: The term B&B term should not be used. Thank goodness, John saved the day, apparently he was afraid that the project was outof point.

PANIC!!!!

Impromptu action.
I cut his speech.
Wahahaha.
Saying that I was away for a meeting with STB.

The good news from this cliche action ? People believed it. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh ya and the bad news?
Si Min did not get to present her slides.
Considering that she spent 3 hours to prepare the script
*Looks at Si Min pouting*

Yet...
The relief after the presentation
The anxiety before
Something I had not felt for a very long time.
The feelings were shiok can!!!

Thanks to...
Si Min!!!! For being such a great team mate =) For one way HTHT (Si Min is currently complaining that this meaningful 感謝詞 is not up to her standard)
Yang Thong!!! For being blur and made me 哭笑不得
Elysia!!!! For being such a fantastic backstage crew!!! and the ultra fantastic, super duper fabulous English.
John!!! For all the heart attacks, but most importantly, the great save of the day.

Derrick! For stressing me somemore during the lab
Song Hui! For wanting to kop my lab reports, and EVEN! the marketing presentation. *shakes head* CUISTER!!!
Nonetheless, 2 great guys, just that we blown the lab AHAHAHAHA
Ai Lin! For letting me know, I more bimbo. *Sobs*
Roy! For SMS encouragment. I want to see the main com pic!!!! Especially the one with Si Min AHAHAHAHA. *Si Min pouts even harder*

NO MORE MARKETING!!!!! Don't remind me of the exam please.

Sunday, October 28, 2007
[[dr3@ms]]

Length of sleep: High
Quality of sleep: Moderate Low

Makes no sense yes?
How could a 10 hour sleep resulting in my awakening at 10am fresh and ready for an early start equates to a moderate low quality of sleep?

Sometimes dreams do actually reflect what have been, or what should have been going on in one's life.

Incommunicado.
Resulted in negligence of friends.
Studies.
Resulted in negligence of thoughts.

Perhaps that's what my wild and furious( 此furious非比furious) dreams were trying to tell me.

People whom I have less contacts with now mysteriously popping into my dreams, helping me solve whatever problems that were in the dreams.
Warning signs ?
Or that people I could depend on weren' t those I thought of initially ?

Wait.
People I could depend on.
On what? For what?

My emotional state?
The progress of projects ?

Nonetheless, it is of utmost unfairness to put it that way.
People like Si Min, Elysia had done a great deal for the project, unlike some.

Dependency.
I realised no matter how much you share with your friends about your troubles and stuffs.
It all reaches the same conclusion.
You have to solve the crux of the problems yourself.

One last point.
If it is good why change?
If the end results are bad, why change?
Oh right. Change is nature.

Saturday, October 27, 2007
[[s+r@|gh+]]

Gone too far?
Time will tell.

[[d3|ish!]]

When they say ignorance is a bliss, they really mean it.
When they say curiousity kills the cat, it is really true.
Last bit of expectation.
Lost.

It's really laughable that MSN messenger is capable of sending file over 10MB big and that one could download a movie more than 100MB.
What's so laughable ?
The fact that I could not even send a 13MB file over to my teammates when all our inbox has the maximum capacity of 5GB.
It's really ridiculous that I have wasted an hour of my time trying to send the file through various sources. Geocities, Hotmail, Gmail, Yousendit.
Maybe that's what happens when you engage a free service.

Oh yeah, the fact that my cousin is here to visit doesnt mean much.
THe fact that they are playing monopoly meant a lot more.
I ought to be happy that the monopoly is serving its purpose.
WIthout me.

The woes of a student.

Friday, October 26, 2007
[[M@rk3+|ng]]

This really reminded me of Project Work. In which PW itself took up a majority of the titles in the blog in 2005.

I have finished the presentation formatting and alignmet at precisely 10.28pm
What's left is the animation.
I am seriously considering to do that tomorrow.

11 hours of marketing project hurt my eyes.
Not to mention I have to nurse this headache.
All I really asked is for my teammates to be slightly more thoughtful.
Do the referencing, check the content.

Ok. Back to MB103.

[[p3rf3c+|0n]]

One final wake up call. Thanks.

Incommunicado.
That's the one final stance to show my negligence I have and I would be to friends not in NTU.

"追求完美的當兒，換來的也許是壓力“
Constantly seeking...
A balance between work and play.
An equilibrium with time.
When ever was these easy to achieve ?

" Just how many chapters have closed,
Only to be reopened again and again.
Just how many chapters have closed,
Only to start a new one ? "

Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits
Watch your habits, they become character.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007
[[b|@ck]]

Black Wednesday that started shortly when Tuesday was about to end.
It continued all the way into the night with a brief casting of the warm sunlight and ended in grey clouds.
That's not the weather I was talking about.

By being slightly late to depart from home, I gained an ounce of warmth.
Thank goodness for the coincidental meet with Irene on the train.
It made the otherwise black morning seemed slightly better.
But the moment she's gone...
Everything went downhill I supposed.

I detested going back to a place I supposedly should call a second home.
I found it intolerable to be even looking at those people.
Strangers and friends alike.
The only source of comfort came from gang's lunch.
Alas, that had to be interrupted with incessant talks from the 2 cheena poks. (Not that I really wanted to discriminate them, but their accent totally irked me today)

苦中帶甜
Thank you.

To my gang:
Thank you for the afternoon distraction.
That silent company.
Really appreciate it.

To Derrick:
Though there is a very high chance you would not be seeing this but thank you.
Unintentionally you had made me accepted what's the heck is going on with me.
Those weird links to econs and ... ya. Hilarious.

Liking a setting does not meant liking the environment.
Inferior complex one might call.
Yet that's exactly how we felt.

Self pressure.
Self stress.
Why the hell did I volunteer to do shit work ?
It happened in CCU it happened again.
The last incident made me felt so guilty towards Luppy.
This time I have so many people to account to.

How can I grow to hate a place that I have to be stuck in for 3 years ?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
[[m0n0p0|y]]

A random question.
A couple of spontaneous answer.

I was worried about marketing yesterday with regards to the workload I have to shoulder for marketing. With the exception of Si Min, it seemed that everyone took it for granted that I have to and I MUST do the executive summary. It's was as though it wasnt their project anymore. Thanks for saying thanks. Truly felt it. Not. Shan't turn this entry ugly with this.

My sister wanted to play monopoly. More focus on the spongebob part than the monopoly part.
And so we played.

It was a hassle to 理財 for 2 person
It was irritating when someone kept on winning money, and at the end of the day, the wealth amounts to 2k odd
It was even more irritating when I stepped into people's territory

But...

It was hilariously funny to see my sis stepping into Plankton's lab conseutively and paying that miserable $2 rent every round.
It was superb when I got my 1st pineapple! I GOT THE FIRST PINEAPPLE!!!
Smiles and laughter... made me thought that not studying econs was the right choice.

Nonetheless, people were late for school. Tsk Tsk. So much so for human alarms.
I learnt that when solving for order of reactions, you log both and not one side.
Ahahahaha.
The difference between Chem S paper, Chem paper and J1.

Oh yeah, I bought new erm, shoes. Yay! Jasmine mask was soothing :)

Saturday, October 20, 2007
[[3c0ns]]

Phone off.
MSN off.
Skype off.
Macbook off.
Door closed.

I successfully made myself incommunicado to others not in the family.
Back to the good old days where no one could bother me about anything at all.
It felt good.
Especially so when I cramped all 10 chapters of econs.

205 done, 103 done, 104 done.

It sounded like I have did a lot.
I am barely scratching the surface.

Marketing will come in after Wednesday.
That's my final effort for the plan.

With this said, back to econs then!

Friday, October 19, 2007
[[h@H@]]

Normally I would not be up at this unearthly time to blog.
Normally I would be up at this unearthly time, perhaps waiting for 179A.
I am so proud that I woke up at 6.50am thanks to routine wakeup calls.
I am kinda happy that I wasnt at 205, though this attitude cannot be condone.

Nonetheless, I DID NOT. I repeat, I DID NOT fall back into bed, instead I started my day early, at 7.35am. That's early okay. The lecture has not yet started.

我是聰明的。我是英明的。Ahahahahaha.
Lies and fallacies.
Chocs and Strawberries.
Threadless and blue.
Cards and photos.
Words and quotes.
Mago and tofu.
Rain and cool.

Happiness and surprises.
One - off.

Articulate :
using language easily and fluently; having facility with words.
expressed, formulated, or presented with clarity and effectiveness.

Meets expectations.

我是狡猾的！！！ At least I was kind enough to released the highly classified "purpose" information.

Monday, October 15, 2007
[[b3@u+y]]

Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.

~ Edgar Allen Poe~

I think that would be my reaction if I ever step into Maldives.

Thanks to my marketing case study on Starwood, I get to see the meaning of nature with a touch of commercialisation on the island. Okay, more than just a touch.

A night = 1500USD.
Anyone who wish to sponsor ?

Hahahaha, this shall be one of my honeymoon destination =D

Oh yes! I decided to tear open that missha mask that had been on my table since god knows when.
Pretty surprised to find it still soak with the whatever, whatever.
So fun!!!

Before I truly forget,
Happy Birthday =)

Sunday, October 14, 2007
[[|ssu3s]]

There are times when we feel that we did more things than others.
There are times when we feel that we have put in more effort than others.
There are times when we feel that we have much more important things to say.
There are times when we feel that others don't understand how we feel.

Then...

Those are times we have to ask just how much we know that let us decide whether have we done more things, put in more efforts?
Those are the times we have to ask whether what we have to say is really more important than what others have to express
Those are the times we have to ask whether do we understand how others feel.

"Seek first to understand, then be understood"
Something from J05 I have learnt, but most unfortunately, it wasn't practised regularly.

Been trying to stick to this policy when it comes to a particular few people.
Somehow, they can always make me reach my treshold, and ignore this quote totally.
Nonetheless, I have been telling myself to keep my cool. Everything has its own reason.
Likewise, everyone have their own way of coping.

While I am concerned about my friends' (be it in uni or not) emotion state.
Please stop giving me this god damn reason of
It must have been lack of sleep.
It must have been stress.

There are reasons why there is something call Stress Management.
There are reasons why there is something call 6 hours optimum sleep.
One of the reasons being there is a choice in everything you do.

One choose to feel stress.
While some stress are inevitable, and always present, it is absolutely up to us to see how we handle it.
Before biting people's head off, or break down because of stress, reflect upon what caused it.

Again, the length of sleep is our choice.
It's our choice whether we want to sleep now or do our work.
If one is going to say there's a deadline to this work, that's why I cant sleep early.
Then may I ask whether have you procrastinate ?

It's exams soon.
Stay strong people.

On a brighter note...
125 game!
What's the purpose ?
Heavy rain.
KFC.
Zhi Cha.
Marketing!

Thursday, October 11, 2007
[[s|ck]]

I never failed to amaze myself.
How I managed to crawl home for instance.

It's sucky when have a laptop to carry which you did not even use in school.
It got suckier when your stomach is twisted into this tight knot and you couldn't even walk.

For once I felt that I was on a eternal walk home.
The thing about Sembawang was
if you faint/die no one knew.
Cos it's too ulu.

Nonetheless, I managed to reach my lift.
Not without a graceful slump to the ground though.

Stomach flu hit me.
With a fashion I guessed.
It's a new word to"Cher's diagnosis"
It's also an entirely new feeling.

I seriously hate myself.
For one, I would not be able to complete my stuff on time.
For another, I knew I'd enjoy the rest. Crap.
For "the other", I got to miss 205 lecture. Yippee!

Contemplating whether do I want to lao sai, or vomit.
I think.. vomit ?
Pull pants down, sit on toiletbowl...
Will take me a lot of energy.

Thanks to those who xpress concern =)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007
[[sp0|L+]]

Yesterday was spoilt by insensible comments. Thank god for the company at night. Which made everything back on track again.
That was our first very effective marketing meeting. Not forgetting humor as well. "Hubber!!"

Some things are better left unsaid.
No matter how much you cared enough to say it.

Right now...
In a transition.
Between caring and not caring.
Please let the equlibrium position shift back to the left.
Else it simply proves what I have always said about people.

According to Le Chatelier's Principle,
I have to increase concentration or pressure or temperature.
Right now, I have no idea what is to be and what will be increased.

A change so drastic.
Such incident just reminded me of what TS said about the new CIs.
It's unfortunate that it happens to the world as well.
It's most unfortunate that I have to see it replaying.
I guess change is indeed nature.

I work with my principles.
I work with my own set of rules.
It's getting hard to put up that front.
I wonder how long will that last.

What I had wanted
You failed to give.

That split second.

Now the moment's gone.

Put it to the past

There is really only a fine line between anger and indifference.

Monday, October 08, 2007
[[eXp0n3n+|@|]]

John told me an intersting notion.

As the graph clearly explains, at the point of 0 we already have a certain number of assignments/sai kang.
Workload slowly increase with the number of weeks.
Until recess week...

That's when hell starts.
Or rather, the roller coaster ride starts.

Nice one.

Si Min say she shall refrain from reading my blog as it makes her stress.
I think this one should be a stress relief.

Saturday, October 06, 2007
[[SU]]

Got to take a break from doing Marketing. After doing BS103 and MB103, my brain is about to jam soon.

Anyway back to the point, it took me about 2 days to finally decide that I shall S/U MB103. Interesting course if my results does not have to depend on others. A scorable course if I have enough time to prepare my 葵花寶典.

So here I am clicking on the box...

Why must they question me at this time ??

Done!!

Today was less unbearable since I have company to study together. AHAHAHAHA. An interesting way of company nonetheless, interactive =P

Friday, October 05, 2007
[[mum]]

4th October. Mum's birthday. Instead of going home early, I reached home at 11 plus. I chose to attend an enriching forum. Ministerial Forum 2007 with MM Lee. Everyone there knew and acknowledged that the last question was a stunner. For the worse. Nothing much to comment on the forum seeing that he had simplified things so that more people can understand.

Today was a fruitful day. At least I managed to understand wth is going on with BS205, but excluding the calculations part.
Super irritated that my link for the assignment wouldn't work after a day session. It implied that I have to find a new link.

Still feeling very confused as to whether should I S/U marketing. Shall think through tomorrow.

Sis was being helpful and went down to 4 leaves to collect the cake. (Pics next time perhaps)
Instead of being the crazy zi lian me, the level of "zi lian-ness" was cut down to the bare minimum and when I realised that, I tried to zi lian again. (Not that it was hard :P )

Maybe the celebration proved too much for me when we extended it to the dinner at Sakae.
Good food, nice ambience, and the company of family should have rendered me speechless with joy.
Yet, I felt oddly detached.

Sufficient rest ?
Too long a celebration ?
Brain drain from work ?
Stress level up ?

No idea.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007
[[s3ns3|3ss]]

Senseless.
Really senseless.

" Well, u can only say tt=hat you have friends with expensive taste"
How much I did love to strangle them.
Nothing wrong with expensive taste of course.

Try having the money to afford the expensive taste before you bloody type this smug message.

I don't print money and the last time I checked, neither are you guys.
Angry at the fact that they could spend the money so senselessly, without qualms.
Disappointed at the fact that, they could freaking tell me I've got $80 in credit to spend what I want.
I have expensive taste too, can I raise that to 800 bucks ?

知錯不改. Fine.
The problem lies when they failed to see what's wrong.

Utterly disappointed.
The fact that one could spend $80 on a piece of cloth. Wait, 1/5 of a cloth + 2 steel piece.
I seriously assumed that you were one of the more thoughtful ones.

On a lame note,
yes boss I know why I got the chocs.
I need it today.
Urgh.