An Apple And The Pasture

Thursday, February 22, 2007
[[s3ns3l3ss]]

Why do you need another Admin Asst ? It's been a month + since I am here and on an average working day of say 9 hours, I am surfing the net (for my own lesuire) for 6-7 hours. While the net is a vast space for endles, exciting, promising (new) knowledge, I always tend to surf that particular few, ie. I tend to go crazy after 3 hours of surfing. What made it worse is that my POLY friends (!!!!!!!) are mostly cramming for their exams/ working. Urgh!!!!!!!! My JC friends ?!?!? ALL WORKING (but they do not have the privilege of msn-ing =.=. Damnation.
I was sooooo freakin bored that I actually ask for more work to do. Yet those work could be done in a matter of minutes, which makes me wonder wth they just can't finish it themselves ? Fair enough I asked for it, but simple things left undone to me = sloppiness and laziness eek!!

Minlong went crazy as well. Hahahas, apparently he was way too bored in NS, served him right for being late =P . Ting told me an golden opportunity. Really hoped it will go well. I don't care if I have to teach Chinese to a bunch of people who might hate it. I don't care if the school is way suxy n ulu. I don't care if the students are too rebellious and I can't control. I just want to get out of here (despite having such a nice environment and of course, K-san). I just want to interact with people. I just want to see the sky, the trees, the beauty of nature instead of being stuck in the office (despite the office area being very big - of course la, recep area what.) I don't give a damn about this 9-5 job. Oh wait a sec. A 5.45-7.10 job in this case. I just want to sleep late and WAKE UP LATE!!!!!!!! Oh yes, the $65/day is a bonus as well. Please Ting, Please Mdm Tan. Give me the job !!!!!!!

Righty. Being ultra spastic today. See what an office job can do to one's wellbeing ? Oh, A's results is gonna be release soon. :s That's a major factor that WILL for SURE affect my wellbeing. Just typing it out gives me butterflies. Help!!!

Had a major moodswing ytd. No one understood the significance of that incident. Sigh. Who can I turn to ?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007
[[r3+urn]]

Back to work today. Sigh. Slpt only 4 hours... eek! Thank goodness 2 more days till weekend. Weee.. Ting ting hse!

Mom's better already. Thank you guys/girls for your concern.

Been a couch potato for the past few days.. kinda hate to drag myself outta bed today. Indeed work is a necessary evil. Eek.

CNY foodies are so damn nice, especially those which are home-made ^^ , comfirm grow fatter liao.. yikes ~~

Monday, February 19, 2007
[[d0wnh|ll]]

Forgot to mention that 2 years before yesterday was my very 1st cvd. ahahah! Random.

Things went downhill today when my dad had to bring my mom to the doc's today. Took up the role of being the temporary mother for, thankfully 2 hours. Brought my cousin to the station, my sis n bro for some lunch. $10 for 3, not bad at all ;)

Just realise that that little brat is pretty observant. He knew when to whine and when not to. Stuck to me like a glue when my parents weren't there. Turned rude the mo my parents were. I wonder what's worse. His stickness or the whining. Urgh.

Despite being very happy as a couch potato today, more bad news came. G-ma nearly lost her way. Degeneration of brain cells. Stubborness as one senior citizen. Something which I forsee would trouble us all in the months to come.

It seemed like such coincidence that something regarding health had to happen to a pair of mother and child.
It seemed like such coincidence that it all happened on new year's day.

These mild "heart attacks" have not killed me yet, nor did it brought about that invisible stress and burden I've got to shoulder.
Fine, yes I really am. If these doesn't continue, I will be.

Sunday, February 18, 2007
[[sc@r3]]

Unanswered prayers.
A worry uncalled for.

A start of a new year.
Yet, a start of a new fear.

An early wake which I did expect.
An early news which I didn't.

It was just the night before
When I sent my prayers to my gods.
How could it all changed in just one night?

"A trip to hospital" was what my mother said.
Yet it was enough to jolt me awake.

An unbearable truth that I'd hide,
Alas, the paper could'nt fight.

Ok, the above sucks. It totally can't convey the fear that I had when I woke up. "A trip to the hospital" did not sound auspicious on a new year. We were the first to reach g-ma house when my dad rushed my mom to SGH. The hours of waiting was a torture, knowing that mom would be fine did not help to ease the anxiety or those dreadful thoughts.

It was indeed joy that I could have fun with my dear nephews and counsins after my mom got back. I saw shadows of SH again in Jun Zhi, how Tweety would turn into another nerd, when would I drink to Kor's wedding etc etc.

Went back to visit my dad's mom, ok my g-ma as well who left our house. What ever the reason was, remained a mystery. G-ma thinned a lot. Dad didn't expect me to observe that. How could I not ? When I have just saw the worry on his face earlier that morning ?

A "How dare you didnt tell me" was what I received from Corinna. News spreaded fast between that 2 lesbians of mine :P Not sure whether the "She will get well" came from their hearts or by instinct. I was glad at least Mar and Corinna cared enough to say that.

Angel fallen from grace ?

Please don't let me live in the nightmare again.

[[CNY]]

Where were you at CNY eve?
Last minute cleaning, washing, ironing etc.
I ironed clothes!! Surprise!!!

Had a wonderful reunion dinner tonight. It was perhaps a sad fact that the presence of my g-ma wasn't missed. Nontheless laughter filled the table, it made me wonder how we never sit at the table to eat anymore. Lure of TV was perhaps the greatest foe to building relationships. Not once my brother threw his famous tamtrum at the table, something which I am glad for.

Greetings, SMS-es came as expected.
Fireworks from M'sia accompanied through the night.
Can't wait for the one in July.
Who should I call?
AI ?
Gang?
You?
None?

Whatever. Happy Chinese New Year again ^^

Saturday, February 17, 2007
[[gh0s+r|d3r]]

Once again, I have let myself delved deep into a mirage. Uncontrollable, torturous. I wonder how many months would it take before it stops. I wonder when will I relinquish the hold, and savour the memory.

Back to the day, I managed to clean my room in 4 hours. This is an achievement considering I had 3 stacks of papers, files piling high on my desk which never failed to piss my dad off. Cleared the surface and I even cleared my drawers. Read the past letters, cards that people used to send. Some letters surprised me, while others.. brought me back to the past. It was always that "what if" questions that can cause a pang.

Travelled one big round before we finally ended up in Yishun GV to watch that hit movie - Ghostrider. I still think Reeves should be the lead. Cage's face was distorted. Lame show, but the producer was smart : throwing in as much effects as he could.

Going home was a torture, not because it was already 11, but because of certain images which kept intruding my mind. Sigh, when will this ever end ?

On a brighter note, tml is CNY eve. Happy Chinese New Year =)

Friday, February 16, 2007
[[0v3r]]

It's over. I decided not to get the leave. No point making other people do more work when they cant even finish what was given to them. Perhaps those thoughts were just flashing through my mind whenever I have bouts of anger?

Anyway, to day was a damn happy day since I managed to scratch the floor with my boots, erps i mean.. :P K-san was there as well, + loads of good news.

Upcoming events:

Ghost rider @ lido
CNY !!!
CNY LUNCH !!!
D&D

Yikes, have to source for MUA, or should I just ask SY ? Hmm..

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
[[suck3rs]]

More often than not, we always get such suckers appearing (intruding) our lives. Whenever I finally feel that life in OST is back on track again, some suckers had to spoil it. Today was V day, and ang bao day from the company. Totally loving.. until...

I was not allowed to take a half day leave. Reason being...

Someone took a full day leave that day. So I cant.

While I do understand that someone (it seems to be me) have to answer calls, attend to visitors, do administrative work, oh yes... put back the bloody hamper you shifted from its nest just because you are fucking lazy to do so.

So what makes me so damn pissed off ? To cut long story short.

"Er... XXX, I need to take a half day leave on 22 Feb"
You cant, YYY has taken a full day off, so no one will be at the recep
" But I have a checkup on that day"
Try to change to another day
" It has been changed already"
" How about I just leave at 3pm ? I don't even take half day leave"
What time must you be there ?
" Latest 4pm, so I must leave at 3pm"
WHAT cannot! Too early, how are you going to repay the 2.5 hours ?
(This is the part that got me pissed, I tot I was entitled to 3 paid leaves ? )
" I come earlier for work le, should make up le ba ? "
I never tell you to come early. So not considered.
(This is the 2nd pissed off pt, as it is the 1st time punctuality is not appreciated)
" Then how?"
You try ask them to delay the timing.
( 3rd point. Try asking a clinice to close late for you la, who the fucking hell you are ? President? Even President comes under law control k. )
" It is a clinic, their operating hours"
I can only let you go at 3.30pm
"I cant make it in time"
Take cab.
(4th pt. Apparently she thinks that everyone is so god damn rich like her to travel in cab from Jurong to Orchard)
" Is too ex"
Tell your mom sponsor lor
(5th pt. She herself is a mother and now she is teaching ME to waste my MOTHER's money. Oh wow!)

"對抗外敵" was what she said. Protecting all in FA against the rest. So why the hell do I feel that the so called "外敵" are not as bad as they seems (except that few bastards) but the main bitch is the one whom I had the conversation with ? Please clean up after your own mess can ? When I said I've got nth to do, I want something to do, I want to learn from that smth. Not comparing how identical both contracts are, to move the bloody hamper which you shifted, punch holes for you, throw your staple bullets away and crap.

For F-sake you are new as well, why must you treat other newbies like that ? Am I not from your department ? Thank goodness I asked shi fu about the fax, if I were to listen to you, I would have wasted my pleasant mood on asking people what are the incentives of advertising.

[[c0mp@ny]]

Someone just broke the news to me that I could not enter the company's dnd lucky draw.
My world crashed.

*CRASHES*

The impact was so damn great as a) there are 3 ipod nano RED!!!! to be won, b) There are 92 people attending, with 72 prizes (any idea how high the probability of win is? )

Nontheless on a brighter note, I got my 1st CNY ang bao today!! $20 =) which was real cool since I have only joined the company on Jan 15.

Okay, maybe I should not think too much about the nano. (AHHHH) For I've got loads more benefits already. I love OST =)

Sunday, February 11, 2007
[[YJ]]

Today was YJ's CVD. What an apt time to remind me of how much I missed YJ. First time seeing the CVD from a vistor view. I must say it sux. It was only the people who were truly involved would then feel the "excitement".

Our mission there was apparently to get free gifts. First up a free drink from SY's friend. Then a free hairband. Coincidentally, the stall was under the charge of Mr. David and we got free "ice balls" then free balloons from Ms. Lim and finally fondue from Mr Seow who claimed that I made his head big by retorting back ahahhaa.

It's been only a few months but some changed drastically. Those who never smoked, smoked. Those who were not of healthy weight, slimmed (Ashwin !!!!)

Some changes. Arent good.

Mrs. Sim seemed less happy, lack of something. Less livier than lat year. Thinking back to last year, how we used to hate her cos she was too "law-by-law" , the feelings had changed. In fact, it saddened me to see her today. I hoped she was just tired and nothing more than a good night sleep can revitalise her.

Ms. Lim was still the same crappy her, though by admitting she missed our class apparently meant that something was wrong with this batch. Same goes to David and Seow. It was as though we truly meant something to them, adding colours into their life. Let's hope the junior batch would change their perspective soon.

Some remained unchanged.
Like how crazed simone n pinkie were over wu zun. Like how Yangthong is still that quiet. Like how Ken still looked the same despite going to Tekong resort. Like how I can always win the teachers in the battle of talking. (Or maybe they just let me win.. hmmm)

Just felt a lot today. Thought a lot as well. (white hair!!) For the umpteen time, I really wished time could reverse. Perhaps in that way, we will think before we act, consider what we will say, do what we say we would, treasure what we should...

Thursday, February 08, 2007
[[t0+s]]

Wonderful. My application to do relief teaching finally got through. What a nice timing. For it came AFTER I signed a binding contract which would last till 31 April. In fact I am counting down to that day.

Today was a busy day, thanks to people who seemed to fail their primary mathematics. I had to recount the no. of people over and over again. I pissed people off, people pissed me off. Overall today was still a happy day since I have learnt another new thing about office life. Not to mention some surprises from some people =)

I escaped from the place as soon as I could. I was reflecting what Dawn said about letting me go walk walk see see look look for an hour, to let me get some air. Honestly I found trips to toilet a relief( apart for my bladder). There would always be this constant breeze when I go near the big big window ( Though I sometimes wonder about the sensation of falling from that height)

I realised I would not mind working in an office.
Even though the future is not for me.

I need a place with open air.
Tried as I could, the only jobs I could think of was handling either plants or animals. Which sadly I have no interest in.

Despite this "saddening" fact, at least I am finally making a headway as to know what I want =)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007
[[w0rk]]

What a day. First it was Irene, whose mood went down and up, after which it was my emotions which went for a roller coaster ride. Thank goodness for AK who somehow kept me sane ( I am still not sure why)

Yesterday's lunch was great. It followed my menu and it made me happy. Today's sucks like hell. I distinctly put NO VEGETABLES under the list I pass to them, it is either they could not read chinese or they are simply blind.

When I opened the lunch box, the first thought that entered my mind was : surely this is for somebody else. I walked to her, and she told me no. I quickly shot out : I shall throw the veggie away. Seeing the green thing irked me. I was on the verge of puking when I tasted the rice that was full of the veggie taste.

HOW.
MANY.
TIMES.
MUST.
I.
SAY.

I.
HATE.
HATE.
HATE.
HATE.
VEGGIE.

I don't care how it can help me lower the chances of constipation, how it gives me fibers. Anything that is green and is under the veggie category and is not call broccoli, please just put it one side. Before I stuff the whole thing into your mouth and watch you puke green. EEKS

Monday, February 05, 2007
[[fr0wn]]

It's getting harder each day to "untie" the frown that is always on my face whenever I am alone. Die!! Wrinkles !! :S So much rubbish thoughts that I don't know what I am thinking. Staring into space had been a recent fad, especially when I've got absolutely nothing to do in the office.

Took Irene's advice and decided to hold down my temperament, see how it goes....
Ultra, uber, super bored.

Really thankful that Feb only have 28 days
Really thankful that CNY falls on Feb
That means I have more holidays than working day,
For I will have none in March =(

Sunday, February 04, 2007
[[fun]]

Had my virgin trip to kbox today. I must say : Jian's voice is so damn good. ML's one as well.We also have a Chinese relief teacher, who cant read chinese =.= and uses "trad chinese" as an excuse. Ahaha.

Change of attire @ Hereen and we went down to East Coast. It amazed me again how the human brain worked. It's been 2 yrs(?) since I last bladed and it seems like as though I bladed yesterday. I regained all the skills in the matter of mintues and of cos till now I don't know how to break ahahaha. Yiting fell though, since she was concentrating too much on the ice cream while going down slope. I wasnt sure whether should I be laughing or not.

Dinner at the EC food centre was damn nice... went down Bugis after that. Saw Joeyee!!! Had the 1st chalet meeting.. and yep fun as always =) Reckoned I'd get another stomach cramp from laughing too much again... ^^

Friday, February 02, 2007
[[p@mp3r]]

Went and pamper myself today. Julia came and brought me to her home. Apparently her designer husband had done some work to the apartment. There was some language barrier since she was a Vietnamese, but thankfully she speaks Chinese, though it was not perfect, but it was quite fluent nonetheless.

She asked about my family, about work. It took me all my will power not to reveal much disatifaction about my work,even though she got the gist of it. "你要學會忍" she told me in a Vietnamese accent. Instead of feeling irritated, a wave of calmness spreaded over me. To hear it from a stranger really gave a different feel. It was as though you finally found someone who cared, despite not knowing you at all.

She was such a nice host. She did not flinched or get nervous despite me keep looking @ the way she done my nails. After the whole thing, she even treated me Vietnamese food, which I must say tasted fantastic. What's more, she went to 7-11 to buy me drinks, then later follow me to the bus stop. Nice lady =)

Next time who want go pamper with me ?

[[@g@|n]]

Here we go again. Feedbacking. The feedbacks(or rather complains) are getting more and more weak, more and more ridiculous.

" One thing I observed is that you put the document down and you walked off"
What the hell am i suppose to do then ? Pose for you so that you can take some snapshots?
Oh what? You want me to indicate my presence by pointing madly at the paper? " Hey goondu!!! Here's your document!! WHAT you can't hear ? YOUR DO-CU-MENT!!!!!" If I heard a word about me disrupting your work. I shall walk off. IMMEDIATELY

"You put down the phone very quickly"
I said bye bye didnt I ? Was it my fault that you guys are so retarded ? When I said someone is HERE, I don't mean phone. If they called, use your common sense please, why would I bother to even tell you?

This last one was a classic :
" Worklife is very different from school, once you make someone here displeased, you are a goner" Alas, my response was slightly slow. What if they make me displease ? Why would I be a goner all the same ? I was told to bear with it. Some people are like that. Again that brought me back to the first question.

Aren't we all educated ? Was MOE that different in terms of teaching manners? Why must there be some shit-ass who chose to bully the new ones ? Stop telling me to "see open, be flexible" For a person who worked so hard to achieve what position they had today, should'nt they be the ones who should be seeing things in a wider perspective ?

I realised while I was shredding the papers, I have 2 choices. To rebel or to keep quiet. To give them boi song look or to act cheerful. I will be choosing the latter for now. There is just this much one could stand.

Thursday, February 01, 2007
[[+h@nks]]

A word of thanks to these people. I fully appreciate their importance now.

Mr Charming : That sudden call from your Tekong resort sort of lifted up my spirit earlier before the hell broke loose
Kong: Afternoon msn beats nth
Mr Cek ark: Same to you
Marilyn: Yep, msn @ work rocks
Beth: For being so siao that I cant help but be influenced
AI friends: For really crapping with me. I really needed it now.

I was having 2nd thoughts about the manicure thingy... now i think I deserve that TGIF treat.

[[m0odsw|ng]]

I was fuming mad when I reached home yesterday. Please people, if your English/ hearing sucks, don’t act smart and choose English on the POSB screen can ?

There was this retard who either a) could not understand the English or b) has hearing problems as when he was told repeatedly to remove the cash from the depositing side, all he did was to pick up the phone hoping for savior of some sort. Oh yes, that retard also did not realize that at 7.30PM it was not considered office hour. So he stood there like an idiot waiting for someone to pick up the call, not caring that there was a long queue behind.

Much to my pleasure. Not. The machine obviously would not accept any more deposit. So can anyone be offended at the fact that I screamed fuck and stalked out of the place, since it was the god knows how many times I have queued and only to let these bastards torture me ?

Such moodswings did not end there. It happened again today. Was it my fault then that I could not recognize some of my colleague since they are those type who come to you when you are needed and “dao” you later? I bet they don’t even know how to pronounce my name. Cher is sooooo not equals to CHERYL.

Was it my fault again that I am picky about food ? I said curry chicken over the rice. I did not say curry chicken + rice. Those are 2 different thing. You think I felt good when the auntie mircowaved the noodles for me ? It is my fault that I don’t even know where the food centres are or what is there for me to eat ? Excuse me, we are not living in a desert where I would be so desperate just for a drop of water. Did I ever complained about the > 1hr long lunch break you have, despite my dying stomach ? What about those “她this 她that” ? Am I that deaf to you? That stupid 38s meeting in pantry.. was I that blind ?

Oh yes, thanks for the talk on being tactful. That was what I had been trying to do and you guys helped by picking on every mistakes which you are so god damned eager to find. When nothing was my fault to begin with, it became mine all of a sudden.

Right. I shall keep quiet. Except the “Good morning” don’t expect me to answer you. Perhaps when you are needed.

Dao people ? I am the best lor.